This is Jump. Here is to the thrill of not worrying about the landing.
The Jump picture was taken at a different time.
It was July 2007. Finn had just turned two a month earlier. Like the other emails in this series, Jump requires a bit of context.
When Finn began treatment at the end of February 2007, the expectation was that the surgery to resect (remove) the tumour would take place in May 2007 after four courses of chemotherapy. Unfortunately, Finn’s follow-up MRI revealed that the tumour had not shrunk as much as everyone had hoped or expected. Surgery was then put on hold while radiation was explored as an option. We met with a radiation Oncologist who strongly recommended that we take Finn to the United States to access proton radiation that was not available in Canada and was only available in a handful of places in the United States.
That process took time, patience and persistence and eventually through all three (and particularly persistence), we managed to secure a spot in Boston. Then the ball got bounced the other way. The doctors in Boston did not want to proceed with radiation until the tumour was removed. They were very concerned that because of the size of the tumour, radiation would do to much damage to Finn’s small body.
So July was for the most part a break month. Only one chemo session (they wanted Finn strong for the surgery in early August) and very few problems with Finn’s kidneys. In fact July 2007 was the last month Finn had without a pee bag.
Jump is from that month. I remember being in the Oncology clinic that month. I was watching Finn zoom around, and he truly did zoom around that place, jumping off couches, racing with his I.V. pole. So I am watching Finn be Finn. Looking at him Run Jump Bounce Dance Sing Love Smile and Ride and I remarked to Allison (Finn’s primary nurse) that they must have made a mistake. Finn didn’t have cancer. Look at him. He wasn’t sick. But he did. And he was. He was just being Finn. Living life. Living large.
But I digress. The Jump picture was taken in our Family Room. For those of you not familiar with it, our Family Room is a converted garage off our kitchen. One accesses the family room by going down three carpeted stairs. Finn often accessed our Family Room (and had been doing so since the age of months) by taking all three steps at once.
Take a look at the picture. If Finn wasn’t bald from the chemo, you would have no idea he was sick or that he had a grapefruit sized tumour in his lower abdomen. How could you really?
The Jump picture has taken on an iconic status since Finn died. In my “mantra” email, I mentioned that we at Finn’s Celebration of Life we handed out a bookmark with Finn’s picture on it. This is the picture on the bookmark and we see those bookmarks everywhere. The Jump picture was also part of an exhibit that toured Canada in 2010 called Cancer Connections.
So what does Jump mean to a bunch of Riders? Jump is about jumping into something and damn the electric fence. Deciding to do something because it is fun, and enjoying every gravity defying moment and letting the landing take care of itself. Take a look at the picture. Finn isn’t looking at where he going to land, he’s just smiling his way down, living the moment.
So I say thank you to those who have decided to be a part of this. Decided to Change the Story. Thank you for taking this Jump. Thank you for having the courage to challenge yourself. Now that you’re in it, enjoy yourself and don’t worry too much about the landing.